Singleness update

"Friday, 17 April 2015

Singleness

As a 15 year old, a common question I am asked is "Do you have a boyfriend?"
And the answer
is 
no. 

I am a single pringle 
I have been for a while
in fact, my first boyfriend was a boy named Jayden or something. I was 4 and he was a little older. We met once a week at his house because my uncle had guitar lessons there and I would always go along.
Each week he would ask me the same question "Are you my girlfriend?"
Each week I would say yes.

THEN CAME THE BREAK UP

I don't know exactly what happened but I remember this...

we were saying our goodbyes 

when suddenly 

Jayden's little brother stabbed me with a car key just missing my eye.

There was blood running down my face.

I NEVER SAW THEM AGAIN

Fast Forward to today....

I haven't had a boyfriend since but am still often asked "Do you have a boyfriend."

This really gets me thinking...

Do I want a boyfriend?

The answer is yes BUT it has to be the right guy. 

• Someone who's funny with an amazing personality 
• Someone who's supportive
• Someone who can handle my love for Michael Jackson
• Someone who has taken the time to really know and understand me
• They must like superheroes and roller coasters 
• They need to be able to cope with me going away without any jealousy BECAUSE I can't stay in one place
• They also must like travelling

Do I see my Prince Charming liking me in the near future? Do I even see my Prince Charming? Well... I don't know really.

I would like a boyfriend but I would be so awkward as a girlfriend and would probably have no clue what to do haha. "

              

Oops! I made an error...

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let me fix that

As a 15 year old, a common question I am asked is "Do you have a boyfriend?"
And the answer
is 
YES

Story time

High school- they're the years where the adults say "they're the best years of your life"
Where the students say "Small fish, big ocean"
Teachers say "Study hard" and "this prepares you for the real world"
AND parents give advice after telling everyone that "he/she/xe grew up so fast"

Some advice I was given before I went to high school was to make new friends because people change.
I wish i'd listened to that advice sooner...
It's no secret that I can be a little bit awkward in the friends department.
You probably already know about my friendship with "Kate" and how it all turned sour.
BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT THIS POST IS ABOUT

I could have listened to the advice I was given
But I stayed with Kate and Kate only.
Sure I had some side friends.
But Kate was my only real friend
Kinda sad writing that... Ouch!

ANYWAY!!!!

Being friends with just Kate and looking back on it, I turned into something i'm not.
Kate had a very fiery personality.
She had a short temper, would pick fights with anyone, would often swear and call people insulting names. She basically was everything i'm not.
I DON'T TALK TO KATE ANYMORE SO I DON'T KNOW IF SHE'S CHANGED OR NOT.

So me being me, I just went along with everything Kate did. Why? Because I wanted a place to belong. I felt accepted by her, we had thoughts of having children of our own and making them become best friends like we were.

Do I miss it? Probably...
Would I go back to it? NO!
Why?
Toxic friendships aren't made to last. I don't ever want to be someone i'm not.

SOME OF MY BEST MEMORIES ARE WITH KATE.
How do I feel about this?
A little sad, but hopeful for the future, that i'll create more memories with other people.



So that's my blog post for today... Sorry it's not a light and happy one but uh it happens.
Stay Awesome

MY VIEWS AND A GOAL FOR THE FUTURE

Please don't judge me okay?

I work at maccas (McDonalds) part time/casual.

Now again, this is just how I view the whole situation, how I interpret this event so don't be too quick to judge okay?

Right

Here we go.

So I was at work one day when a family came in with their son. The young boy was about 6 maybe 7 years old. He had clear disabilities, hearing aids on both ears and his mouth/jaw structure wasn't fully developed. 

I don't have very much experience with disabled people. My natural instinct was to smile. 

He started talking to me. 

THEN HIS PARENTS STOPPED HIM FROM TALKING TO ME 

And they said "Now buddy, this is why we speak for you in public." They then apologized to me for him speaking to me and ordered their meals.

They were embarrassed of their son!! 

It all happened too fast 

But today I really got a chance to think about it. 

It made me think, what if I was the boy? He probably didn't think much different of it but when he gets older, would he think that maybe his independence is non existent? How will his confidence be?

And now I have a goal for the future.

I want to be a film director when I am older. I want to open acting classes for young disabled people to build their confidence and give them something to live for, something to make their parents proud with.

Now i'm just rambling on 

Stay awesome people  

Things I do that I really shouldn't

We all do things at some point in our lives that we know we really shouldn't do. 
I am guilty of doing things I know I shouldn't do.
Here are just a few examples.

• Evaluate my life at least 3 times a day.:  YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT, THREE TIMES A DAY... AT LEAST. This is one of those things which I start to do and tell myself "No don't do it. Don't do it.... And you're still doing it." Now on a whole, my life is pretty good, there are people who have it worse off than me. BUT my anxiety and insecurity just won't accept that. So I often find myself sitting down, literally evaluating my life. EVERY LITTLE THING IS PICKED APART AND ADDED TO THE FINAL EVALUATION. 
• The accidental accent:   Occasionally, in mid conversation, my accent changes and I have to find my natural accent. This annoys people because sometimes it makes it hard for people to understand what I am saying.
• Laughing when people cry or during intense moments:  "Oh Callie, you're a horrible person!" YES I GET IT! But wait a minute, hear me out. This happened on mothers day. I wrote something nice on the mothers day card for my Nan. SHE CRIED.... What did I do? what was my initial reaction? LAUGHTER! Now WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I LAUGH?!?! BECAUSE.... When people cry, I really don't like it. I hate it when people cry, I don't like people being sad. LAUGHTER is contagious, IF I LAUGH, THE PERSON WHO IS SAD MAY LAUGH! (or they may see me as an insensitive a$$hole) I tend to see the light in the situation and occasionally crack a joke in intense or sad moments. STOP JUDGING ME OKAY?!?
• Grammar Police: This one is self explanatory, when I see bad grammar, or people using the wrong "your/you're" the wrong "two/to/too" or the wrong "there/their/they're" I go grammar police. This is one thing which I have eased up on. I only do it occasionally now. 
• Shy stuttering and stammering: This is something I HATE doing. I could be having a normal conversation with friends when BOOM! Stuttering! Or a sudden burst of shyness, stammer and stutter on my words and eventually wanna go die in a hole from embarrassment. 
• Deny compliments:  I could be the most loved person in the universe, most people could have only good things to say about me. BUT AT THAT MOMENT WHEN SOMEONE COMPLIMENTS ME-- Denial.  DENIAL, I just can't accept compliments.... Why? I don't know. Another thing, I don't know how to react to certain situations. *my boyfriend asked me out and my response was "yeah, sure, okay"* Another strange thing, I can't accept compliments, but accept an insult with ease. 

Well that's all from me today
Stay Awesome