The Doctors and Body Image

I was 12... 

This is a painful story which still hurts me to this day
I still think about it often
I will forever remember it
Going to the doctors has never been the same
It is with caution that I share this story
WHY AM I SHARING IT?

BECAUSE BODY IMAGE IS AN IMPORTANT ISSUE

Tears form in my eyes as I remember that day....

It was January 11th 2012.
I remember the date clearly as it was the day before my uncles birthday
And I remember leaving the doctors thinking "Who would tell a 12 year old girl such mean things"

I had been having a constant ringing in my ears and head spins for a few days before Mum made me go to the doctors.

I didn't really like the doctors and this day just made me hate it more.

So I sat in the waiting room quietly with my mum and my sister.

I got called in...

Then this happened...

Doctor: Hello Callie how are you?
Me: Not so good doctor.
Doctor: What is the problem?
Me: I've got this ringing in my ears and-
Doctor: Step on the scales.

I took a deep breath, one he didn't let me finish my sentence and two, I was already slightly self conscious about my weight.

I don't remember exactly what the scales read on that day but I do remember the 10 minute lecture he gave my mother and I on my weight, how to improve myself and that I was on the line of obesity.
I think he just prescribed me some antibiotics that day.

I remember walking out of the doctors surgery feeling numb, on the brink of tears but trying to stay strong for my sister who had just witnessed the whole thing and was just given another thing to pick on me about.

The next day was my uncle's birthday at an all you can eat restaurant
I recall sitting at the table and over hearing mum telling someone the story
I then broke down in tears and I swear, half of the restaurant stared at me.

My self esteem was at an all time low. And still today I get anxious and paranoid about people talking about me behind my back.

Moral of the story 

I found the lecture in front of my mum and sister to be embarrassing.
I went there to get my ear checked and not to get a weight lecture
I still believe to this day that if he needed to tell my mum about my weight, that he should have sent me out of the room or called mum in another day instead of making me feel embarrassed, shamed and self conscious.
Another thing which I felt to be wrong is what age I was....
12!!
I was in between Primary school and High school
I was about to enter another school
I was at the awkward stage where you get massive growth spurts and you gain a fair amount of weight due to puberty.

This Is A Message To Anyone Who Has Ever Felt Like This...

Although this experience of mine is probably not what you're going through, I would like you to know that YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!!
If that boy doesn't see that
OR
That girl doesn't see that
Then they're not worth it!!

I went through this hellish experience and since then, without sharing this story, I have been called an inspiration, people look up to me!

You are probably feeling like absolute rubbish right now but just think, in 3-4 years time YOU could be someones hero. At the moment you probably don't see it which is fine but just wait.

I look back on that experience and yes it still hurts, but then I think about the people who do look up to me, cousins, friends and even people on the internet, and I think "I'm not gonna let that experience get the better of me."

Thankyou for reading